John Carter - Is there such a thing as too much?

John Carter, when I first saw you, I truly believed that something new could come into this world. That my eyes would be opened, and I would experience a grand story with new adventures. When I saw you John Carter, I was given hope. Hope that our movie industry wasn't doomed to remakes and regurgitating the same old romantic comedy. Well John Carter, you did and didn't bring anything new to this world. Lucky for you I did some homework. Here is a brief history lesson. John Carter or as titled The Princess of Mars was written by Edgar Rice Burroughs in 1917. Well that's when it was published. It was written in 1911 and titled Under the Moons of Mars and put into a magazine. It only became popular after the success of Tarzan. From then on John Carter made appearances in several other books and comic books. I got my information from Wikipedia so who knows how accurate it is. And besides You aren't here for a lecture you here for the movie. The actors starring in this movie are Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, and Willem Dafoe. The Director is Andrew Stanton, who also worked on Finding Nemo, Toy Story and basically any Disney Pixar film you come across. Well where do I begin? This film starts off after the Civil War with John Carter, a decorated soldier, avoiding the military in search of gold. Only to have fate send him on a much more grand adventure. But what would define a grand adventure? This story follows the basic D.I.D (damsel in distress) formula. I don't plan on reading the books...all eleven of them. But there is too much story here. From what I got out of the movie this story can expand vastly. And I fear if they choose to continue with it, John Carter will suffer the same fate as The Last Air Bender, Directed by M. Knight Shamalamadipshit. This project is massive. The acting was mediocre to sub par. Lynn Collins was AWFUL! I would rather spend a night trapped in Helen Hunts ass listening to a symphony of bowel movements then see this chick in another movie. The graphics were not the best I have seen. Creatures were very unimaginative, but again this was written in 1911 and how exact it is remains a mystery to me. So to claim I saw a Rancor from Star Wars could be inaccurate and maybe the other way around. Environments were lacking...hell I saw a damn temple that looked like the Millennium Falcon for Christ sake. The story did not catch my attention until the last five minutes. Then it got interesting. I don't believe I can give John Carter a fair score. I put this thing on an unreachable pedestal, my expectations were high. If you call this movie the next Star Wars then you better Fucking wow me. Well I'm sorry to say I don't think it is. Dethroning Star Wars would be an impossible task, even for you John Carter. What I did like about the movie was the Physics. You will understand what I mean when you see it. I give John Carter a 1 1/2 out of 4. Again it's not a fair score and I think I should give it another chance. But don't you dare call it the next Star Wars. If anything Star Wars was the next John Carter if you think about it.