Red Dawn - This is our home

Let me get one thing straight and clear. I wanted to see Silver Linings Playbook instead of this film. Not just for my huge crush on Jennifer Lawrence, but this film had the highest ratings of all the others that came out. And Jennifer Lawrence was in it... Every theater here advertised it, has posters and cardboard cut outs. But do they have it? NO! No they do not, no theater does for a hundred mile radius. I have to drive to Denver to go see it. I would, but the funds wouldn't allow it. But I hear this is happening everywhere. If such a high rated movie isn't being shown then how is it going to make any kind of money? I don't want to have to wait and buy it. Plus I'm not getting my fix dammit. I got a problem, I know. Back to Red Dawn. This movie starred Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, and Josh Hutcherson. The director was Dan Bradley, this was his first film. I could tell... Josh Peck with his shit eating voice/speech impediment or something was awful. But it allowed me to mistake his horrible acting for it. I liked some of this movie, but my liking for the original completely overshadowed it. Which sucks, because I try and view these remakes as a standalone film. The acting was mediocre, with Thor doing the best job. The plot, yet again, felt like it just skipped on ahead without much explanation. I seem to finding that a lot in these movies lately. I wanted to like this movie, I really did, but there was too much getting in the way of that. I give Red Dawn a 2 out of 4. It's good enough for the average movie goer. But not good enough to replace Jennifer Lawrence. 

Rise of the Guardians - You can't say no, it is destiny

I loved this movie from the moment I saw the very first trailer, I was excited for it; hell I promoted this film on a previous review. It wasn't just the animation that got me. But the sheer potential that this film could have had, it just sucked me right in and I was an immediate fan. Well, all that was before I saw the actual movie, I have a more slightly different tail to tell. Rise of the Guardians starred Chris Pine, Alec Baldwin, Jude law, Isla Fisher and Hugh Jackman. The director was Peter Ramsey, the only other film he directed was a Monsters versus Aliens T.V. movie...figures. I blame myself really...I put this movie on a pedestal, like I do with most. And the expectations were set too high for a children's movie. I just expected more then what I got. This film was about belief and hope, and I felt a little of that. But no real threat, nothing I actually believed couldn't be handled. I still enjoyed this film. But I felt that certain plot points and events in the movie just skipped along with out any real explanation. Some of this stuff was important and it only received a few moments of attention. Oh well, this is me just being nitpicky. The voice acting was great, the plot idea was sound but had some execution troubles. I believe in these symbols, that they do bring wonder, memories, fun, and hope. This film gives that message, and shouts it into your ear until they bleed. Got a bit annoying, but still good. This is still a good movie to take your whole family to. I give Rise of the Guardians a 3 out of 4. Don't stop believing, then the light of hope will never extinguish.

Life of Pi - What more do you want from me?

I go through life seeing and hearing about things. Stuff that never happens to me, but maybe that's a good thing. Most of the time these things happen to people that I believe need some form of redemption. And maybe it's God giving them that chance. I hate to get preachy and deep like this in a review, but in a sense, this movie seems a bit like that. Not much...but a bit. Life of Pi starred Suraj Sharma, Irrfan Khan, Ayush Tandon and Gautam Belur. Funny enough all played Pi. The director was Ang Lee, who also did Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and Broke Back Mountain. This movie had a lot of hype, being called the next Avatar, or something like that. Let me tell you that is a poor analogy. I hated Avatar...the movie disgusted me with it's lack of originality. Pi is nothing like that. This movie was slow, but it was amazing; touching really. I don't want to sound like a pussy but it was kind of beautiful. This movie itself was a bit preachy on God, but I didn't seem to mind so much. This story showed me a lot, not just about life and religion, but I saw other things as well. But I believe you see what you want to see when it comes to movies and music. With Pi I saw that when you build a relationship with something or someone, and that something comes to be close to you, even depend on you for survival. That something will leave you the first chance it gets, and never look back. But that's just me. This tale of survival is amazing, the visuals were amazing, the acting was amazing. I loved every bit of this film, and would pay again to see it. I give Life of Pi a 4 out of 4. I only saw the reflection of my heart in it's eyes.

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 2 - Forever isn't as long as I hoped

ATTENTION, SPOILER ALERT!  I am going to talk about the end of this film. If you don't want the ending spoiled, do not continue any further in this review. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!

So I can't believe I was talked into going to another Twilight marathon. Damn...twelve hours of nothing but Twilight. So I was surrounded by the lowest of the nerdy chick chain, whom either brought their friends, or brought their boyfriends who were just as miserable as I was. Then I was posed with the question of which one was my favorite. Really? Which one was my favorite? That's like going to a dog park and looking at the ground and asking me which piece of shit I like the best. If I had to answer it would be Eclipse, personal opinion. Here are the five star actors and actresses in this masterpiece. Kristin Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner, and so on and so forth. The director is Bill Condon, who also did Breaking Dawn Part one and Dreamgirls. So here's an overview of the saga. It stinks... I couldn't give any of the past films higher than a two. The acting was terrible in each one, especially Mrs. Stewart's. Though the abilities gradually progressed and peaked with Eclipse; they started to sink and fall with both parts of Breaking Dawn. And in the theater when Breaking Dawn Part one came on, all it did was remind me of how much I hate my ex fiance. But, again, getting a little personal. Lets start with the character Bella, I hate this bitch. She is like the majority of women I know. Hey, I'm gonna use this guy because I'm lonely and take everything he can offer before I run back to the guy I'm currently with. She juggles both of these morons and uses the wolf when ever hairboy doesn't currently satisfy her enough. This girl is a pathetic selfish bitch, and I hate the character with every fiber of my being. Though she must be doing something right if I care enough to hate her so much. But hey, I'm gonna put out there that I also hate the chick from Fifty Shades of Grey, she's pathetic as well. "Inner Goddess" please, that means nothing more than that she's a closet slut with little or no self respect. I got anger issues... I digress. Jacob and Edward are also idiots as well. Yeah, I understand love and how far you would go. But you got to realize when you are being used, these guys are as clueless as Edwards hair...gross. The characters are shells basically with little or no room to grow and develop. They act like zombies when this girl comes around, jealous around each other, and it's like that for five movies. Nothing more, nothing less. Breaking Dawn two introduced two new elements, one, Bella is a vampire. And two, Renesmee, the offspring of Bella and Edward. Neither of them affected really anything that was relevant to anything. The plot was disastrous, a false accusation in which the most powerful vampires go to fight the Cullins...that's it. And if all of that wasn't enraging to me enough, here was the tip of the iceberg. The main battle that they show in the trailers, and the epicenter of what the whole film was building up to...never happened. IT WAS A FUCKING VISION! I was so fucking pissed. Main characters were dying, things were actually getting real and interesting. There was real threat that their plans weren't going to succeed. None of it was real. It allowed you to feel the emotions built by this fight and then ripped them away, having no real consequence. This is a huge NO NO in the writing world. But some how, Stephanie Meyer, you got away with this. You are a bitch. To me, this was inexcusable; for a split second I gave a shit about these characters. Then it was gone. That's what I get for feeling I suppose. I give Breaking Dawn - Part 2 a 1 out of 4. I am wolf, and I say kill all vampires.   

Five Women Wearing the Same Dress - women...

An unbiased opinion...easier said than done. I always thought myself above theater, plays, Broadway, all those things. A little insight on myself, I think of myself as a bit of a snob, a little stuck up, definitely high maintenance. So when I think of plays I go back to my fourth grade year when we did a Christmas Carol. That was a disaster... But I got a request from a friend to see her play. A friend I have a lot of respect for, just for her sheer talent in writing and voice acting. How could I refuse? For some reason I thought I was going to walk into some massive auditorium. To my surprise it was a room that housed maybe no more than fifty, and a little bedroom right smack in the middle of it. So I find my seat and there are these two guys that sit on both sides of me, and they are huge! And I think to myself They are going to be rubbing against me all night...Shit... I figured I was going to be in for a very long night; I couldn't have been more wrong. The stars of this play were Marcie Kindred, Elizabeth Wood, Erin Williams, Caitlyn Fontes and Bo Paulsrud. I think this play was written by Alan Ball, and directed by Dave Gaer; if memory serves me correctly. The moment the lights dimmed and the first few characters walked on stage I couldn't help but smile at their quirky dresses and silly personalities. One after the other, the actresses came on stage and each of their personalities dazzled me just a bit more then the last. All very funny, there wasn't a moment where I didn't find myself chuckling or smiling. The jokes were great. But what I thought was hilarious is that I just didn't think women talked like that. But then I have never witnessed the inner workings of a female circle before either...well not sober at least. The story wasn't all laughs, there were brief moments of seriousness and complicated situations. And that's where one of two of my problems lie. I craved closure, or some kind of resolution to the problem. I really didn't feel like I got any, or at least enough. Other then that I loved every bit of the story. And the acting, oh the acting, it was amazing. I can't describe how impressed I was with each of them...except for one. Problem number two belongs to Mr. Bo. His acting felt very dry, not forced by any means, but dry. He didn't convince me that he could be a real person like the rest of the girls did. I don't think my distaste for his inability to act stems from any kind of alpha male issues, eh who knows. Any-who... I wasn't entirely pleased with it, just my opinion. But the other girls have some very real talent. So much so that I believe that they could give some professional actors and movie stars a few tips. I'm not exaggerating in the least. I'm a very tough critic I'm told, but I know what I like. And I truly hope that these girls go on to pursue some form of acting, whether it be stage or screen. If not, I believe the world will truly miss out on something special. I did my best to give this play an unbiased opinion without the distraction of my admiration for my friend. I give Five Women Wearing the Same Dress a 3 1/2 out of 4. I don't review plays so this was a first for me. The story was solid as was the acting, a tweak or two and this would have been perfect. Great job guy and girls.  

Wreck-It Ralph - You're my hero

Being the gamer that I am, when I saw this trailer I immediately wanted to see this movie. It looked fun and entertaining, and it just seemed up my ally. I know I have a history of being too hard on some animated films geared toward kids. But this movie is very different from the rest. Maybe even a step ahead of the rest, but definitely a step in the right direction. The stars of this film are John C Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Jack McBrayer, and Jane Lynch. The director is Rich Moore, who also worked on several animated T.V. shows such as Futurama and the Simpsons. This film is about a video game villain who wants to be a hero. It's a simple yet sound plot. I mean who would want to get their asses beat for some amount of years consistently and be treated as an outcast. The yearning for a deeper meaning is there. Not only the villain, but the other main characters as well show that they want something more then what they had become. The moral of the story is deep and real; something that everyone should follow. This movie was very funny and very well acted. I despise Sarah Silverman, but I very much enjoyed her voice acting and character. Besides the fact that this film had something to teach and wasn't a bunch of empty humor; what I enjoyed the most was the fact that they didn't use real video games for the main characters. Sure real video game characters made tons of cameo appearances, but this movie wasn't about them. Having original characters gives no room for complaints from the die-hard gamers and allows a connection to be made with these new characters. This movie was possibly one of the best animated movies I have seen. I give Wreck-It Ralph a 4 out of 4. I believe sequels hurt movies like this. But if done well, I do hope I see these characters again.