Hansel & Gretel, it's yet again another reboot of an old fairy tale. Why are the rebooting these stories? I have no idea...probably because they are running out of ideas in Hollywood, having a collective creative I.Q. of a witless boob. I'm very happy I went into this movie expecting absolutely nothing from it; thus allowing me to hate it a little less. Hansel & Gretel starred Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton and Famke Janssen. The director was Tommy Wirkola, who did a movie called Dead Snow; I have no idea what that is. The inexperience of the director really showed. This movie felt very rushed, but not only that but everyone seemed very uptight. As if the entire cast, each had branch shoved up their ass to make them and their acting seem stiff. There was a very awkward tension on the screen, very little chemistry. This film had a very standard and predictable story, with a very predictable twist. What did surprise me was the language, I was actually quite shocked. And the brief nudity, that surprised the hell out of me. After that I kind of thought hey, we got a movie. But all of the brief butt shots and side nipple couldn't save this film from the mediocrity it suffered from. Besides, the wrong chick got naked. The acting itself was stiff, I wasn't very impressed. But with Jeremy Renner doing big films like Avengers and taking over with the Bourne saga; I guess I wouldn't really try either. I'll tell you what I did like. I liked the weapons they used, as cheesy as they looked. I liked the old feel of them, but corrupted with a technology not really fathomed for that time period. But the Gatling gun seemed a little stupid to me. I would appreciate all of these reboots if they did something imaginative with it. Having all of them working toward something grander, like they did with the Avengers. But they won't. There is a severe lack of vision with this film. It had the potential to be good, but it kept tripping over itself. Hell, this movie was quick to end itself too. The ending narration started before the last battle even fully ended. Oh well, I won't dwell on it anymore. This was a very average movie and it shall get a very average score. I give Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters a 2 out of 4. The only good witch is a dead witch.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters - Who the fuck is Edward?
Hansel & Gretel, it's yet again another reboot of an old fairy tale. Why are the rebooting these stories? I have no idea...probably because they are running out of ideas in Hollywood, having a collective creative I.Q. of a witless boob. I'm very happy I went into this movie expecting absolutely nothing from it; thus allowing me to hate it a little less. Hansel & Gretel starred Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton and Famke Janssen. The director was Tommy Wirkola, who did a movie called Dead Snow; I have no idea what that is. The inexperience of the director really showed. This movie felt very rushed, but not only that but everyone seemed very uptight. As if the entire cast, each had branch shoved up their ass to make them and their acting seem stiff. There was a very awkward tension on the screen, very little chemistry. This film had a very standard and predictable story, with a very predictable twist. What did surprise me was the language, I was actually quite shocked. And the brief nudity, that surprised the hell out of me. After that I kind of thought hey, we got a movie. But all of the brief butt shots and side nipple couldn't save this film from the mediocrity it suffered from. Besides, the wrong chick got naked. The acting itself was stiff, I wasn't very impressed. But with Jeremy Renner doing big films like Avengers and taking over with the Bourne saga; I guess I wouldn't really try either. I'll tell you what I did like. I liked the weapons they used, as cheesy as they looked. I liked the old feel of them, but corrupted with a technology not really fathomed for that time period. But the Gatling gun seemed a little stupid to me. I would appreciate all of these reboots if they did something imaginative with it. Having all of them working toward something grander, like they did with the Avengers. But they won't. There is a severe lack of vision with this film. It had the potential to be good, but it kept tripping over itself. Hell, this movie was quick to end itself too. The ending narration started before the last battle even fully ended. Oh well, I won't dwell on it anymore. This was a very average movie and it shall get a very average score. I give Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters a 2 out of 4. The only good witch is a dead witch.
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