Underworld Awakenings - Does anyone have a book on Lycanthropy?

I'm gonna make this a short review for the simple reason that to me it's not worth seeing in the theaters. This review is on Underworld Awakenings, starring Kate Beckinsale, Kate Beckinsale, and Kate Beckinsale. There are other characters but the main selling point of this movie is that Kate Beckinsale returned to reprise her role. Now don't get me wrong I like Underworld. I really like Kate Beckinsale. But this movie was all action. ALL action, no real story line or plot that I cared about. Which makes me sad. This is m
ore of what vampires and werewolves should be. I have seen other reviews and they give it a seven out of ten, eight out of ten. Well my standards are a little higher, so forgive me. This movie seemed like it was made just to make a buck off the franchise. And if you are doing that then show a little boob or something. Blowing the brains out of Lycans isn't enough for me, if you just want my money and don't actually want to give me a good story. For me there was no real upside to this movie. I even eventually laughed out loud during. The animation is poor,

but I have seen worse. The movie starts off with Beckinsale and her kind being hunted by humans. She gets frozen and the movie starts their, with an objective that is quite elusive. What really pisses me off is that they talk like all this time goes by, like a hundred years. Only twelve years went by ASSHOLES! "There was the first Great Purge, then the Second Purge, then The Cleansing!" SHUT UP! This movie just pissed me off. Forgive the outbursts. I give Underworld Awakenings a 1 out of 4. You know they are going to make more.

The Grey - One mustn't give up until the very end

Hello hello, you haven't heard from me in a while but I don't need to make any apologies. I've been busy. So this review is on The Grey starring Liam Neeson, Dallas Roberts, and Frank Grillo. This movie was directed by Joe Carnahan, who also worked on Smokin' Aces, and the A-Team. Let me start this review by saying that I did go into this movie expecting. What, I'm not to sure, but I was expecting something. Was it delivered? Mostly yes, I did enjoy this movie, it lived up to about ninety five percent of my expectations. The greatest thing this movie has going for it is the tension. You can feel it when the movie starts, then it just gets thicker and thicker. A knife won't cut the tension, you need a damn chainsaw. The tension weighs down on you, you feel like you are there, you feel like you might be next. The making of this movie says that they actually filmed this in negative ten degree weather. There were no pussies on this excursion. I felt cold just watching it. The movie starts with Liam being at the ass end of the world

working as a hunter. He and some men get on an airplane and disaster strikes. If you have seen the trailer then I'm not telling you anything new. Now here comes that five percent I did not like. The secondary characters...I don't want to ruin anything. But when they were no longer needed in the film it was abundantly clear, and they were just written off. I felt robbed of any actual meaning or purpose for them. To me it was just bad writing. But at the same time this movie seems like it could be a true story, and all of that could have happened. Though I doubt it is. And the ending...it's always the ending. It wasn't bad by any means, but I still feel I need some kind of closure. You can stay after the credits and there is a five second clip to add to the ending. It may or may not help you. It didn't help me with any closure, but I'm lucky to be blessed with an imagination and can make up my own ending. It kind of felt like an Inception ending. Oh well. I give The Grey a 3 out of 4.

Breaking Dawn part 1 - Just wants something to sink its teeth into

This review is on Breaking Dawn part 1. The main characters are played by...you know what? If you don't know who these people are by now, then you have done yourself a wonderful service. This film was directed by Bill Condon who also did Dream Girls and Chicago. I don't really know where to begin? I'm at a loss for words, this is so bad it's unbelievable. The music bugged the hell out of me. Oh my god it bugged me! After every bad "dramatic" or "touching" scene there was an even worse song. This is the kind of music that you would hear in an elevator, coffee shop, or some high school asshole has on his ipod. The music was so bad I wanted to splash hot coffee on my face so my screams would drowned out the noise. But how do I judge such a movie? I myself don't believe in love, and this story is revolved around such a thing that can be replicated by large amounts of chocolate. The acting was laughable, much worse than the last movies. Which must be hard to do because they have been playing these roles for about four or five years. The lines were so damn cheesy, I couldn't help but laugh. "There is no measurement of time I could spend with you that could be enough. So lets start with forever." PLEASE! Yuck! I mean talking about cashing in at the right place in the right time. This movie is garbage, the story is garbage. These characters are false and unrealistic, they are only hear to dazzle the ignorant and for the fat to lament. I'm probably being too harsh. But I hated it. Breaking Dawn part 1 gets a 1 out of 4. And unfortunately I will probably see the last one, I saw the other four so why not?

Footloose Sexier than a chicken wearing socks

This review is on Footloose. Starring Kenny Wormwald, Julian Hough, and Dennis Quaid. Footloose was directed by Craig Brewer who also did Black Snake Moan and Hustle & Flow. Bit of a stretch if you ask me. Please allow me to begin this review by saying, Dennis Quaid, really REALLY needs to throw in the towel. I am beginning to hate this man and his awfully substandard acting. STOP! You are almost as bad as your brother. I walked into the theater with a very indifferent feeling about this film. An employee even said there is an exit inside the theater and just outside our theaters entrance if we needed an escape. Wasn't too comforting. I have seen the original film but memory is lacking at the current moment. Fragments remain of Kevin Bacon dancing around. I assumed like most remakes that this was going to be absolutely terrible. The film starts off with a bunch of kids dancing and having a good time. Five of them drive home across a bridge and there is a fatal car accident killing all five kids. Poor driving if you ask me. I mean kissing someone while driving is kind of stupid in the first place. I laughed out loud with some subtlety, but I was the only one, giving me the feeling my sense of humor is a bit twisted. So laws are set in place where dancing in public and playing loud "bad" music is illegal. And the plot is introduced in the first five minutes of the film. My biggest issue in this movie is Julian Hough's character. She annoyed me so much. I have never seen a girl try so hard to be slutty. It was pathetic, and yes that was her character, but who is that desperate to be with someone? Who is that insecure? This is a bit off subject, sort of, but here's a line from Kenny Wormwald that should be of help to the desperate. "Yeah we can roll around. But that sweat on your back is going to dry, and you are still gonna' feel like shit." But I digress. I didn't like her character. The relationships between the main character and his friends were developed rather quickly. But none-the-less I did enjoy them. I didn't mind Kenny's acting, I have witnessed better and worse. The dancing. Oh the dancing, this is what I enjoyed the most. The sequences got me tapping my foot, and the music was stuck in my head. I was even singing the Footloose song before we even went to the movies. After the movie I was dancing for hours, with some liquid courage. And when I woke up the music was still in my head and I was shaking my hips. It is a bit out of character for me but I like where it's going. All in all I liked it. Footloose isn't going to win any best actor/actress awards. But it was a fun film to go to if you don't mind the mediocrity that Dennis Quaid provides. I give Footloose a 2 1/2 out of 4. It would get a three, I really wanted to give it a three but I hate Julian Hough's character. Now if you don't mind I'm going to go and dance some more.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes - Apes are stupid

This review is on Rise of the Planet of the Apes starring James Franco, Andy Serkis, Freida Pinto, and John Lithgow. This movie was directed by Rupert Wyatt who also did the Escapist. I had no real expectations for this movie. But seeing the beginning of this saga seemed interesting enough for me. This movie starts out with the apes being captured and forced into a lab where tests were performed on them. The tests were for a virus strain that could cure Alzheimer disease. During the demonstration one of the apes go crazy and escape injuring people and were forced to kill it leaving a baby behind. This movie had it's good points and bad points. I liked most of the acting, Franco did a decent job pretending there was a monkey in front of him. Okay the acting wasn't the issue with me. I hated how fake the CG looked. The animation was horrible and kept taking me away

from the movie. But not all of the animation, mostly just the scenes where there were monkeys and humans. When it was just the apes they seemed to put a little more detail and realism into it. The movie did a good job filling all of the details the earlier movies had created. Really wasn't anything left out. But the movie was slow and a little drawn out. Watching it once was enough. A second time might be a chore. Rise of the Planet of the Apes gets a 2 out of 4. I thought it was better than Cowboys and Aliens. But not by much.

Cowboys and Aliens - You don't remember do you

This review is on Cowboys and Aliens starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and Olivia Wilde. This movie was directed John Favreau who also worked on Zoo Keeper and Iron man 1 and 2. Cowboys and Aliens. My first thought was 'you got to be fucking kidding me.' This looked like an extremely poor idea. It seemed like another Snakes on a Plane, which was also over hyped and the publicity was insane. Cowboys and Aliens wasn't as hyped but it still came out of nowhere and suddenly there is advertising all over the T.V. and other events I witnessed. The movie starts off with Daniel Craig waking up in the middle of a desert with a metallic device attached to his wrist. Of course the device instantly reminded me of a Pipboy from Fallout 3 and made me want one very much so. But I digress. Craig is immediately surrounded by men whom take it upon themselves to assume he is a criminal and take him in. The action scene that follows seemed scripted as did all other fight scenes between humans. I wasn't impressed with the action. What I did like is that the technology their main ship consisted of wasn't shy of ours. Still better and capable of mastering space and time, but the model seemed similar. Daniel Craig's character seemed very bland. Sure he was just playing the strong silent type, but he should have some flavor. He felt like some mindless doll that moved and shot a gun when told to. Harrison Ford didn't have any issues playing a grumpy old man. The acting was mediocre at best. The alien animation wasn't terrible but their characteristics were lazy at best. I liked the movie but it felt like a cookie that lacked all sugar and flavor. No depth and some urgency but the urgency didn't matter if I didn't care. I give Cowboys and Aliens a 2 out of 4. It's worth a rent.

Harry Potter The Deathly Hollows pt. 2 - Lets finish this how it began, together

This review is on Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows pt 2. Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint. Directed by David Yates who also did Harry Potter's 5, 6, and 7. Well Harry Potter for me like many others has been kind of a family tradition of some sort. I personally started the series on book 5 which I would say was my favorite, that or 6 it's close. But none the less this franchise is one of the few that have managed to keep my attention and even wanting more. But the movies have always left something lacking. And with The Deathly Hallows pt. 2 I think I have finally figured out what that was. Even though they left stuff out from the books I believe what they lacked was the emotional punch the books had. My heart could not get into the movies as it did the books. Especially the last movie, the most heart wrenching moments in the franchise happens in the last story and I felt absolutely nothing. Maybe it was the fact that I was up for twenty four hours when I saw it or it was the fact that it was poorly done. My guess it was poorly done, even the Oscar moments were sadly lame with bad makeup. I'm keeping this brief as I am sure all of my adoring fans have scene this movie already. From what I have heard I am the only person who feels this way, so I'm sure it's just me and my expectations were just through the roof. I love the books but the movies were another story. They were okay and got better with age but were still very mediocre. I give Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows pt. 2 a 2 out of 4. You know she is gonna make more. She'd be dumb not to. Hell I want more.