Scream 4 Better never than late

This review is on Scream 4 with Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette. This "horror" movie was directed by Wes Craven whom was supposedly one of these masters of horror. But as of late not so much. Wes Craven is one of those directors that has films that are either hit or miss. And most of the time he is striking out having very few home runs. And Scream is one of those franchises that had an alright first movie for a Wes Craven picture. But then the next two sequels were a bunch of garbage. Only there to cash in on the name Scream. But now we come to the fourth installment. And I have to be honest I laughed every time I saw the preview and shook my head in disappointment. Really? Scream 4? You have nothing better to do? Oh well the three stars needed to get work some how. The movie starts off making fun of itself by seeing the beginnings of the movies Stab 6 and Stab 7. Which are the films made within the movie. They make fun of the movie by saying how needlessly a franchise spawns sequels to make money. And then after introducing the two opening characters they die right on cue after a phone call from some person who can't handle the stress of modern life. Neve Campbell shows up in her home town where the recent murder takes place which so happens to be the anniversary of her tragic stories. Now she's a suspect and has to stay in town. Blah blah blah. Most of the people who die had no real reason to die. I know its a slasher movie but come on have some kind of direction. And some of the scenes where they die took forever to actually play out. The victims didn't even die creatively. The dialog was terrible though I could not help myself but laugh. The lines they tried to say seriously was hilarious. And this is where I get confused. Was Wes Craven actually a genius in making fun of his film on purpose? If so I would have to applaud him. But in some scenes the movie showed it was taking itself too seriously. So I can't really decide which direction Wes was taking the movie. So I can only give the movie a 1 out of 4. We were the only people in the theater. Some fan base. Hey everybody who all wants to see Scream 4? Get the fuck out of here.

Your Highness "It's my birthday today." "Fuck that."

This review is on Your Highness starring Danny McBride, James Franco, and Natalie Portman. This Fantasy/comedy was directed by David Gordon Green who I have not heard of. There was a lot of hype for this movie for being a medieval comedy. The idea is strange but unique none the less. G4 hyped this movie as well as the amount of advertisements I had seen. Well sadly for me it did not live up to the hype. Don't get me wrong it was funny. Just not as funny as I heard it to be. And seeing Natalie Portman's ass didn't make up for it either. I'm going to take a brief moment and say that this woman has been in almost every movie that has come out what the hell is up with that? All I have been seeing is Natalie Portman this and Natalie Portman that. Have some freakin variety people. She's an accomplished actress, I have every ounce of faith in her to deliver a performance but for god sakes show some boob. Now that I got that off my chest HA! get it? -.- your probably not laughing. Oh well back to the review. The movie starts off with Franco returning triumphant from a quest slaying a mighty cyclops and bringing home a bride played by Zooye Deschanel. Well as mighty as Franco says while carrying the creatures severed head. Being greeted with open arms by the rest of the kingdom in the back stood a jealous McBride. McBrides character is useless and funny with his snidely comments toward his brother. Well more skipping and Franco's wife is kidnapped by Leezar. The brief fight scene was surprisingly cool and funny. Not to get too carried away with the plot but that's pretty much it. A reluctant McBride and an eager high spirited Franco head off on a new quest to save his bride. The fight scenes and the special effects were very well done for a comedy, and I was astonished to see some of the creative magic used. Though this is called a stoner flick and advertised to aim at such an audience it only felt that way during the first thirty or forty minutes of the movie. The language was vulgar which I loved. The humor was very inappropriate which I also loved. The Jokes were very funny but they were hit and miss. And the hits were few and far between for me. The nudity was great, even the minotaur cock had me laughing. Which reminds me. I saw an interview with Danny McBride. Between the writers and director there was an argument on the size of the creatures penis. I guess minotaurs aren't as hung as they were fighting for it to be. I give Your Highness a 2 1/2 out of 4. It was funny but not funny enough for the hype it was given.

Paul, Three tits? Nice.

This review is on Paul starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Seth Rogen. This sci fi/comedy/adventure was directed by Greg Mottola. Going to this movie I had very little expectations for it. Then I thought to myself hey the guys from Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz are in it. So it can't be that bad. Well I was in for a shocker, it wasn't bad. Not at all actually some of the scenes were quite funny. And gave me the most insane urge to go to Comic Con, (sigh) a guy can dream. Any who this film starts off with to science fiction geeks from across the pond heading to Comic con on a road trip. After the convention they leave on their trusty RV down to Area 51. Making the tedious stops at the points of "interest" along the way. When they finally run into Paul the laughs really start. I don't want to give anything away but the personality and habits from this alien are hilarious. Seth did a good job making him charismatic but at the same time repugnant. Mia Stallard shows up a little late in the movie. But her role was probably the most difficult to act out but she pulled it off beautifully. She pissed me off, frustrated me, then had me laughing pleading for more. I will be honest these two British guys are on a completely different level of swearing than us. Just some of the potty mouth humor they had got me laughing so hard I had to cover my mouth to muffle the sounds. The laughs though do not really excuse some of the scenes they put in there just to make the movie longer that weren't needed. Other than the redundant the movie was surprisingly good. I give Paul a 3 out of 4. I like potty humor.

Insidious Only an evil eternal may run so deep

This review is on Insidious starring Patrick Wilson, and Rose Byrne. This horror film was directed by James Wan Whom I personally have never heard of. But in the research I did on this film the director wasn't going for a typical monster movie. He genuinely wanted to scare people with suspense and jump scenes mostly. In a sense that's what every horror movie is meant to do, scare you and make you want to sleep with the lights on. Well I think Wan may have been a little more serious about his motives than other directors. Or at least in the beginning. The movie starts off with a happy family moving into their new home when slightly strange things happen. Simple things that can be blamed on small children. You know when stuff is found on the ground and they say their imaginary friend did it. But being the adult you are you know better. HA! Well lets skip ahead a little and the boy goes into a coma one morning. Then things really start to turn south and the job they did with the horror wasn't bad at this point. I was scared I will admit. As I glanced at the screen showing a woman looking through the window of her house at an unfamiliar boy dancing to a vinyl record playing wearing 30's cloths. It was disturbing, in my mind I begged the screen not to go to the next scene but at the same time I had to know what was going to happen. When we reached the point of the story where help had arrived and the cause of the boys coma was revealed it got stupid. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I wanted to shout. And the way to bring him back was even dumber. There was a major flaw in the making of this film. A flaw that only a few directors manage to dodge. Do not show what is scaring your audience. If you cannot put a face on your fear it makes it that much more terrifying. The first half was good, the second half was a fucking joke. Rent it at the redbox. I give Insidious a 2 out of 4. Just remember. Tip toe, through the window, by the window, that's where I'll be. This scene right here scared the crap out of me. Left goosebumps on my arms.

Sucker Punch. They shall scream at us even through demons. Daring us to attack.

This review is on sucker punch with Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, and Vanessa Hudgens. Vanessa Hudgens is the only actor I have heard of in this film. But Emily looked very familiar but for the life of me the entire movie I could not place my finger on where I have seen her before. Oh well. This Fantasy movie was directed by Zach Snyder. He also did 300 and Watchmen so the visuals were very beautiful (other than the ladies). The action was extreme, the fighting was intense but there was one draw back. And I had this complaint with 300 and Watchmen as well. The movie was so loud it hurt my ears. I don't think it's the theatre's fault. The sound in his movies play a big part but in my personal opinion I think it was a bit overdone. The movie starts off with Emily or "Baby Doll" losing her family and fighting her stepfather for survival. The police aid him and take her to a mental hospital where she is to be lobotomized. The only way to obtain freedom is with the help of some new friends and the deepest reaches of her mind. The way we were led to the battle scenes in the movie I did not particularly care for. It sort of made them pointless. Sure it was visually gorgeous and entertaining but in the grander scheme of things there was no purpose for them. But I guess that's why I'm where I am and it was on the big screen. The movie is about empowering women and finding camaraderie when it was needed the most. I had several problems with the story. As they ventured into this fantasy state in the beginning it seemed too easy with very little or no consequence doing as they wish. Then the end was overkill with consequence not capable of finding a balance or following a simple story pattern. This was a beautiful movie to watch, it seemed quite like a live action anime. But a story as a whole was lacking and the battles left something to be desired. I give Sucker Punch a 2 out of 4. There was an upside other than the visuals. The soundtrack was stunning mixing very well with the movie. It left me in a trance pulling me into the screen making me apart of the movie. I could not stress enough about how music can either make or break a movie. Music inspires my writing. When George Lucas turned in Star Wars the movie was hated and they told him to take it back and fix it. The only thing he added to the movie was music and now it's the success it is today. If I could rate the movie off of the music it would definitely be a 4.

Battle L.A.. See you down in Arizona Bay

This review is on Battle L.A. with Aaron Eckhart and Michelle Rodriguez. This Sci Fi movie is based around an alien invasion happening in Los Angeles. Though I heard around me people said at times the movie was slow. I didn't really get that feeling. The movie was nicely paced with several action scenes. Character development was lacking heavily and made it difficult to care about the characters. The film starts out with a staff sergeant (Eckhart) turning in his papers for retirement. When meteors entered our atmosphere and began to slow down upon impact was he called back into service. Finding out the "meteors" were mechanical in nature put everyone on alert. The "meteors" fell on eight or twelve major coasts around the world. I can't recall which. Hordes of these machine aliens or Mechliens was a name I heard amongst the other movie goers. Started walking out of the ocean attacking the population. Every front line is forced back accept for L.A.. They could not lose L.A., it was the last line on the west coast. And then the movie starts. The alien species was very unique. I couldn't tell if I liked them or not. The majority of the body was machine with some flesh that my primitive mind had a hard time wrapping itself around. The aliens weapons were surgically attached to the creatures skin. I apologize for giving some of it away. But I wanted to go into some detail describing these creatures. During the end of the movie I was told I was breathing heavily showing my immersion into the story. The action was there for me. But a complaint I was told was that it was too real for them to enjoy it. Yes this is a very fictional story. But in all honesty with the civilian and children involvement and the likely hood of tactics on the alien side this could be possible. It doesn't mean that I think it will. All in all I enjoyed watching this movie. It took me on a nice little ride and without me knowing it I was pulled into their world for just a moment. I give it a 3 out of 4. My problem was Rodriguez and her stupid ass one liners. But definitely the best alien movie I have seen since District 9.

The Adjustment Bureau. Remember, we tried to reason with you.

This Review is on the Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon and Natalie Carter. This film was one of the better ones I have seen this year. This Sci Fi/Romance story has no real flaws with it. Matt Damon played a very convincing politician. He has my vote at least. This movie is about to people meeting (Damon and Carter) according to plan, their plan. They were never to meet again. But by chance in one single moment in time a slip in the plan occurred and they reunite. Falling in love is not an option, deviating from the plan is not an option. Keeping them apart is the Bureau's plan for reasons I shall not reveal to you (It's not part of the plan). This movie was very imaginative. I liked what thought was put into it. What I didn't like was the whole god complex even though that's the point. The Bureau can do what they want. And with it what happened happens for the reason just because. Who knows maybe I'm complaining about nothing and I have a hard time admitting I enjoyed a movie. I almost felt the same way about it as I did Inception. I give The Adjustment Bureau 3 1/2 out of 4. I didn't give it a 4 because I didn't fully understand why they were forced to be separated but then it was accepted for them to do be together in the past. I don't know. But go see this movie it was a very enjoyable watch.